a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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