It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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