apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize