I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
operation harelip BJ is a go
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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