I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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