you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
