youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
