I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Can I color on your dick again?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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