Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
