Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
