so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
