I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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