they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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