I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
They are going to name an STD after you.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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