Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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