u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Randomize
