also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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