why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Randomize
