Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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