Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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