Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
