I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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