Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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