Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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