...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
