Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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