Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
