At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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