Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
