just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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