So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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