I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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