he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
