after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
