Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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