I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The struggles of a small town man whore
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
