The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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