he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
