After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
