He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
