when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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