just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Someone signed my nipple.
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