Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
