im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
