When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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