He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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