He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
