Its about making memories worth repressing
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
