Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
