i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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