i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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