If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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