I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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