I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
