Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
