that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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