so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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