If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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