when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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