bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
