do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
