your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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