I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
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jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
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If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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